Alone
by Yusagi
Summary: Revamp of chapter 1! More content! better grammar and spelling! yeehaaw! Mimiru loves Tsukasa, but he's not sure who to love, and she can't wait any longer. Secretly, Crim loves Mimiru, but can he admit it to her, before it's too late? Book 1 of 8
1. Longing

Disclaimer:.hack not mine,nuh-uh 

AN: Okay, I nearly went into spasms reading this....I am so ashamed...so I decided I'd fix spelling etc....maybe I can still salvage my pride here...

Okay, in my book, nobody knows whether Tsukasa is a boy right now, it's set right when Tsuk and Subaru get together, before 'Declaration'. Oh, did you know I hate Tsu/Subaru?

I use some Japanese words off and on in this book, no doubt I shall misuse them, but such is fate.

ahem

If you think Mimiru is a bit of a B in this chapter...well...she is...she's emotionally off balance.

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**Chapter 1: _Longing_**

_I watch him, whispering sweet nothings into her ears, holding her hand, hugging her tight, kissing_her _lips....I'm the one he should be holding...the woman whose lips should be so lovingly caressed. I'm the one who found him, who cut through the icy layers of the walls around his heart. Until_she _stole him away. The thief, she pilfered his heart, and kidnapped his love...and I...I who have fought for love my entire life....am alone. Perhaps Tsukasa will still hear me, perhaps Tsukasa would love me still....I must try.....Diary._

Solomnly, She shut her small diary, and walked up to her computer, taking a seat at the desk. She placed the VR set on her head and booted up the computer. The sad sound of a lone flute greeted her as 'The World' opened, and He greeted her, His smiling face taking up the entire sceen, smiling at her alone.....Tsukasa.

_I will have that smile Tsukasa....and you will give it to me....only me..._ She thought to herself, as she logged on.

She knew it wouldn't be difficult to find Tsukasa. These days he was always at Mac Anu...where _she_ was. All that would change soon, oh yes, his arms would be around _her_, only _HER!_

"Sakura!" Came a voice from behind her. Only one man called her that, which seemed to make it even more of an oddity, seeing as who it was.

"Crim?" Mimiru asked, turning to greet him.

"I didn't expect to see _you_ here. What brings you here so early, 'kura-chan?" He asked, smiling.

"I....I have to go, um....see you, Crim." Mimiru mumbled.

"Wait, Sakura!" He called from behind her as she was leaving, holding her up once more.

i_At this rate,_ she'll _get to Tsukasa first!_

"I want...to tell you...something..." He said cautiously.

"What? What is it? And who gave you the right to call me Sakura, anyways?!" She snapped, glaring back at him. "The only reason you even _know_ that name is because I _slipped up_!"

His eyes widened at her spiteful comment, and his outstretched hand fell to his side, "You're right, I guess this is a bad time....see you..."

Annoyed with his pointless interruption, she huffed angrily, and stormed away, heedless of his obviously hurt feelings. All that mattered now, was Tsukasa, him...and only him.

When she warped in to Mac Anu, he was waiting for her....alone.

Crim sat in the shade of a large windmill, the winds of Dun Loriag blew mercilessly on his face. He could actually _feel _the wind...it was a side effect of the virus...both good and bad. The novelty of feeling a game had worn off, and all it had left him with was a burning heart, and a longing he could never fullfill.

He felt a single, burning, tear resting on his proud cheek, as if unwilling to relinquish it's perch on the once proud warrior's cheek.

Sakura...no...Mimiru...that was all the rash, young, beautiful warrior would ever allow him to think of her as. Her adoration lay only in Tsukasa.

Crim gave a bitter laugh, which echoed throughout the hollow caverns of The Windy Server.

Tsukasa had taken Subaru, too.

Not that Crim blamed him for Subaru....He had not _tried_ to fall in love with her...any more than Crim himself, had tried to love _her_. Mimiru...Her smile could brighten the darkest mood, and her glare.... His single tear ran slowly down his damp cheek and fell off of his chin, landing on the arm he had propped on his knee, too heavy to remain on the spearman's cheek any longer.

It was replaced quickly by a mirror one, and another, and another.

Soon, his proud tears flowed freely, as he dwelt on his 'forbidden fruit' sinking into despair.

The beautiful Heavy Blade, she was just as beautiful in real life as she was in 'the world', and as witty, and as intellegent, and.....

If only he could adhere to the rules he had once told BT so proudly...but, ever since he could _feel_, could touch her face...things had been so different. Ever since the day he had rescued her...the day he had kissed her. He had thought the kiss was so innocent then.

He sighed, "Why do you lie to yourself, Ken?"

He stood up suddenly, he had to speak with Mimiru, he had to tell her...no matter what.

"Tsukasa!" She breathed. There he stood, the object of her affection, no, obsession.

"Mimiru....I wasn't expecting you here..." he said, eyes wide with surprise.

"Are you...dissapointed?"

"N-no...not really...it's good to see you again, Mimiru."

"I-it's good to see you, too...." She whispered, lost in his endless, beautiful, lavender eyes.

"I....um....What are you doing here...today?" Tsukasa asked softly, lowering his eyes.

"Tsuk...I came here....to tell you something...."

"Wh-what is it, Mimiru?" He asked, looking up at her again.

"I.....I....I'm madly and comepletely in love with you!" She blurted, all thoughts of planning thrown out of the window.

Tsukasa took a surprised step backwards, his eyes confused a moment, then his expression changed to one of sadness, " Mimiru...I...I'm sorry...I..."

_I'm Sorry_

The words rang hollowly in her ears. All of her strength, her confidence, her boldness, melted away, leaving her without the strength even to stand. Slowly, she slid weakly to her knees.

"Mimiru....I..." He started, touching her shoulder. "I had no idea...that you felt that way...I...I'm not sure....how to say this....I mean....I want to stay your friend...and I..."

"You.....you didn't _KNOW?!_.....I....I....I.." She sobbed, "Just....please....go away Tsukasa...go..."

"I.....alright....." He said quietly, "I...I'll see you..tomorrow then..."

She silently watched him step back, and warp away.

He....left her.

She knew _exactly_ who he was going to.

She flung her head into her arms and tried to stifle her sobbing.

Suddenly, a hand touched her shoulder and an arm wrapped around her other comfortingly.

"Who ever you are....Go away!" She spat, but the man only held her tighter.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw red clothes.

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_AN: You wouldn't believe how difficult this was for me to write the next chapter.....I nearly gave into my sympathy and and changed the end.....Im such a sucker. Oh well, plz review anyway and tell me if I should have settled for a lemon  
_

PLZ?!! WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING!

So you know, I'm not that soft anymore, either.

Yusagi Sombermoon


	2. Farewell, My Love

Disclaimer: this isn't mine...  
  
AN: I feel SO mean....making this chapter the way it is...I promise to make another, happier one....Git to readin' 'fore I give too much away!!  
  
I Can't BELIEVE I misspelled 'krim'...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh well, Gert over it I guess..  
  
BTW....I really like Tsukasa I do...Oh, and I took a gamble with Krim's eue color...don't quite remember.....  
  
BTW...I'll make my romance fic a good one too, All I need is some good music.....For Example, I listened to 'My Immortal' from evenscence...i think... while writing this chapter...hmmmm   
  
One last thing....A reminder....Mimiru is REALLY off-balance here...so she IS a little OOC...and a bit predictable, I guess....  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Chapter 2: Farewell, My love  
  
As Krim warped in, he saw Mimiru there, sitting limply on the cobble street, sobbing. He also noticed Tsukasa warping away.  
  
So....not only had Tsukasa taken her heart, but he'd broken it, as well....  
  
Carefully, he knelt down beside his beloved, and hooked an arm around her shoulder comfortingly.  
  
" Just...Just go away!" She sobbed in response to his touch, but somehow he knew, he couldn't let her go....perhaps it was a silly fantasy, an absurd notion, born of all the years of longing, but he knew....He could never let her go.  
  
Reassuringly, he held her tighter, and whispered, " Sakura....Mimiru...I...I'm here for you....I....know what it's like...to love someone...who could never love you back...."  
  
She paused a moment in her weeping a moment, " You...do?"  
  
" Yes...I..." He began, but Mimiru cut him off.  
  
" Oh....of course , I forgot about you and Subaru....."  
  
" Uh! No, I...." He started, unsure of how to reply, it was true that he had once felt something for that woman....but he had not meant....  
  
" Krim..." She whispered, " Kenyth, right?"  
  
He swallowed a lump in his throat, she had never called him that before. " Yes?"  
  
" I....I'm sorry I snapped at you before...I was just really, really, stressed...." She smiled weakly at him, " You are....the closest friend I have, What I mean to say is...besides Tsukasa..you are the only one who.....who....who I want to call me Sakura...."  
  
shocked, he stared dumbfounded in surprise a moment, struggling to find the words to say what he wanted to say, " I...you...are...my closest...friend too...I mean...but...I shouldn't have called you Sakura..Well, I mean...what I..."  
  
Her eyes widened slightly, and she said, " No! Please....I want you to call me Sakura, so I know that I have a friend...whose more than a friend..."  
  
More....than a friend?..  
  
He opened his mouth to try to form a reply, but before he could quite comprehend what she was saying, and how exactly to reply, she reached up, and kissed him on the lips.  
  
Unable to process anything immediatly, he kissed her back, holding her tightly a moment. And then it hit him.  
  
Shocked, he jerked away from her, staring at her speechless, what....did this mean? What.... would he do? Did she....?  
  
but, before he could decide, she scrambled backwards away from him, sobbing and apologizing,  
  
" Krim....I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed..." She choked, then ran towards the Gate, warping away.  
  
" Sakura!!! WAIT!!!!!!!!!!" He cried after her, but she did not even look his way, as she dematerialized.  
  
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" I'm not leaving....I know what it's like....I know what you're going through..." Krim whispered, causing her to pause a moment....was he saying.....She wasn't alone anymore?  
  
Oh. Subaru......He used to be hers, as well.....so....they were together through this.  
  
" Yeah...Subaru, huh?" She said numbly, staring at him, oddly, he stuttered a moment, staring at her.  
  
" Krim....no...Kenyth, right?" Mimiru whispered, looking up into his handsome, blue, eyes. He swallowed softly, and nodded.  
  
" I....shouldn't have snapped at you...I was just....so stressed." She whispered, " You are....so dear to me.....and....other than Tsukasa...I mean...I...there's no one.....I'd rather have call me by Sakura."  
  
His ocean blue eyes widened slightly, registering what she said, then he whispered back, " I...uh....you...are.....really...close to me, too....but I was...wrong....no, disrespectful....calling you Sakura...."  
  
Did that mean....he would never call her that again?!  
  
" NO! Please....please call me Sakura....so I can have someone...who...I can love......I mean....more than just another friend...." She blurted.  
  
His eyes widened at her statement, but he did not shirk away, like Tsukasa....then..perhaps....he felt the same!  
  
Overwhelmed with her surging emotions, she brought her face up to his, and kissed him passionately, at first, he returned the kiss fully, and ran his hands along her waist, she could still have some one...to love her....suddenly, he stiffened, and jerked away, as if he'd only just woken from a trance, and realised he was in an akward position  
  
" I..." He started, but she could not hear anymore....she had been wrong again....he had only sought friendship, and now....they could not even be that....  
  
She sobbed an apology, and ran through the Chaos Gate, to a random field.  
  
Coincedentally, she ended up at Sora's playground, a dark, rocky, forbidding place.  
  
Carefully, she walked to the edge of a cliff, and looked down. All that awaited her below, was sharp rocks.  
  
On the other hand, all that awaited her behind, was unending pain.  
  
She took a breath, and stepped off the cliff, arms open wide for the embrace of stone below.  
  
" SAKUUURRRAAAA!!!!"  
  
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Krim stared a moment, and rushed to the gate, searching the Word List, and picking the last formed keywords, he quickly warped after her.  
  
To his surprise, he warped to a dark plains, toadstools and cliffs rose high above him, one lone figure stood out among them, on the highest cliff, barely in sight, a.....woman?  
  
" Sakura?" He cried, but the form did not reply, except to spread its arms, and walk off into the air, plummetting to the ground below.  
  
" Noooooo!!!! SAKUURRA!!!!" He screamed, running as fast as his character could run, he had to get there, to catch her!  
  
Despite his furious pace, the form of Mimiru slammed into the rocks before him, before he could quite reach her.  
  
" NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!" He screamed, leaping towards her, and gathering her broken body up in his arms.  
  
Her death-glazed eyes looked up at him, barely seeing, and a trickle of blood ran from the corner of her mouth, she had a broken back, and rocks had gored her in several places.  
  
" Krim....Ken..yth...why are you..." she whispered, barely alive.  
  
" You.....you can't die!! Please! G-give me...your member address..so I can take you into my party, and..then I can revive you...." He sobbed,  
  
" Why?....There....is nothing....for me to live for......."  
  
" But....I..." He said, choking back tears.  
  
" I....so...love you....Krim..." She smiled, and kissed him softly, this time he refused to draw back, and he held her tightly, afriad to let her go.  
  
She moved away from his mouth, though, and whispered in his ear, " Thank you...for....being there for...me...."  
  
" Sakura..." He started, but she put a bloody hand on his mouth, to silence him, and whispered softly,  
  
" Shh..close...your....eyes.....and feel....."  
  
Slowly, he closed his eyes, and he felt her press her lips against his once more, he felt her hands in his hair, just as if....they were really there...in this world, and then she whispered quietly, "...cold....."  
  
Her hand slipped off his cheek, her head lolled back, eyes closed, with a small shiver, and a soft smile on her face.  
  
Her thought he almost heard her whisper one word, " Tsukasa...."  
  
Tears blurred his vision, and he shook with fury.  
  
Tsukasa had caused this, him, and Krim's own ignorance....Sakura....Sakura was gone....the body of Mimiru glowed faintly, and faded into nothing, before his eyes.  
  
" Mimiru...Sakura.....my love...." He wept as he buried his face in his hands, She was gone forever.....no....no!!  
  
" NOO!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, in agony, as only those who had lost the only thing they had ever cared about, could truly achieve.  
  
He'd never....said he'd loved her.....never...  
  
" Sakura..." He whispered hoarsely, " I love you...."  
  
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As the rocks slammed into her exposed flesh, and through her thin armor, Krim was there, holding her like a child, or a lover.  
  
" Krim....Ke-Kenyth.." She whispered, blood filling her mouth, and mixing up her words.  
  
" You.....can't die!!" He sobbed, tears running down his cheeks, " Give me your member address! I can stil....save you!"  
  
Member....address...? She...couldn't remember....  
  
" Why?....I don't...want...to live..."  
  
" But!..." he insisted, choking.  
  
" I....love....you....Kenyth..." she smiled weakly, she didn't care if he didn't return all of her feelings, he was her truest friend, her closest ally.  
  
She reached up and kissed him again, she felt him hold her tighter, he didn't pull back this time, and she could almost feel the love she had, mirrored in his kiss......she leaned into his ear, and whispered a final 'thank you'  
  
He whispered her name in her ear, he was the only man in 'the world' that knew her name, the only one she ever wanted to.  
  
Pain wracked her body, as she touched his lips with her fingers, and whispered, " Don't talk...close your eyes....and feel...."  
  
After a moment, he obeyed, slowly, she leaned up and kissed him. Her final goodbye....she poured all her love, sadness, frustration, happiness, everything she had felt, ever, into him.  
  
Even through the haze of the death swallowing her she felt his touch, his strong arms holding her tight, for the first time, she allowed herself to truly be in love, thoughts of Tsukasa and revenge slipped from her mind.   
  
The passion and fire of his kiss, and the beauty and love hers, mingled for a few. fleeting, beautiful moments.  
  
Finally, what neither could truly admit until now, what both had truly desired, was conveyed through the kiss, not lust, not passion, not hope, or revenge, not even pride, but a love so strong and pure, so beautiful, it could never last.  
  
But they could pretend.  
  
A cold breeze blew, ice filled her body, she shivered slightly and whispered, " ......cold....so......cold......."  
  
She saw his eyes, shimmering with tears, and then, nothing.  
  
She would...return....she would have him....for her own one day...and Tsukasa too....she laughed softly, and then, nothing.  
  
In the arms of her love, she knew nomore.  
  
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In the shadows, a Twin blade's eyes were wide with trauma, Mimiru....had....had died..? Then she was.....she...  
  
" Mi-Mimiru?...You're.....gone?" He whispered, his virgin, nine year old, eyes shocked.  
  
Suddenly, the boy flung th VR set to the floor, and ran to his mother, sobbing.  
  
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Kiona frowned worriedly, as she rapped on her daughters door, what were those noises she'd heard?  
  
" Sakura?..." She said concern heavy in her voice, " Sakura I---"  
  
She started, opening the door, then cut off in a blood-chilling scream at the horrible sight of he daughter, limply sitting in a chair at the CPU, covered in blood, the VR set on her head, and controller in her lap  
  
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Tsukasa shivered, as Subaru spoke, his connection with the Computer had told him enough...  
  
Mimiru.....  
  
" Tsukasa?? What is it?? Are you listening to me?" Subaru asked worriedly.  
  
He looked back at her wide green eyes, and felt sick to his stomach, he knew......he knew why Mimiru.....  
  
" Just---Leave me alone!!" He sobbed, running to a chaos gate, and travelling to Aura's bedside.  
  
Desperately, he flung his head into his arms, leaning against the bed's blankets, and sobbed vioently.  
  
" I....I....never got to decide....Aura help me!!" He cried, " I...I Killed her!! I KILLED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Maha watched in the shadows silently laughing, ' She is not the last...' the cat creature thought to itself, and set about playing with the other girl's strings....' He will be forced to be with me, and only me....oh yes...he will be mine!!'  
  
Is it the end??  
  
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AN: Ouch! I ended it in true .hack fashion, speaking of .hack....I HATE CARTOON NETWORK!!! How DARE they move .hack without announcing it????  
  
Any way...I was in a bad mood, but I promise to make a sequel, but who will survive the test of fire? Is Mimiru really dead? Will she come back? What about Krim and Sora?? wait and see!!  
  
&&& Shameless Plug!!&&&&  
  
The Recruiter, a special X-over fic, will be up soon!! Check it out in Anime Crossovers some time soon!!  
  
So, R&R my chap, what you think?? BTW I actually hate Tsuk/Sub romance....  
  
~Yusagi  
  
&&Another Shameless plug!!!&&&&  
  
If you like this, try out Second Chance!! 


	3. EpilogueAuthor's NotePrologue

Disclaimer: I don't own .hack  
  
Okay! Hi there! This is mainly an Author's Note!!!  
  
Part two of Alone is up! It's called Torment...I'm making this, because not all alone-readers read Second Chance, or even my ever-updated Bio(-.-') which says all my most recent updates.  
  
Torment is less mushy-gushy romance, and more stabbing angst, and thriller-ness....part three will be less of a suspence/horror thing, but still angst.  
  
it will probably be a 4 or 5 parter.  
  
so...to make sure I'm not breaking rules here, heres a prologue/epilogue, to Torment/Alone, respectively.  
  
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" So, Chosen Solitary Remnant, huh, nice name." Saiya-ken said dryly, resting her Liquid Wand lazily on her shoulder.  
  
" It's not the keywords, it's the parameters!" Kenin, party leader, retorted, hefting his Master's axe in both hands, " This is a dream area!!"  
  
" More like nightmare." Triiya mumbled, gripping her Fiend Spear warily, as she scanned the dark zone.  
  
" Come now! Imagine, an area rich with Grunty food and treasure, always night, and no dungeon!" Kenin insisted enthusiastically.  
  
" Exactly, nightmarish."  
  
" Guys." Saiya-ken said suddenly, " I think my Fairies Orb is broken. I used it, but no monster portals appeared..."  
  
" Huh? That's weird, wait a sec..." Kenin replied, and stood silent a second, before saying, " Yeah, mine too....imagine that! An area rich with treasure, and no monsters guarding it!"  
  
" Kenin....there's probably a reason..." Triiya started, when an alarmed cry from Saiya-ken interrupted her.  
  
" What?! What is it???" Kenin asked, running up to the wayward Wavemaster.  
  
When Triiya's gaze fell on the source of Saiya's surprise, she gasped, jutting rocks, soaked in fresh, glittering blood.  
  
" Ah...Triiya's got us all jumpy! That's just back round...." Kenin laughed loudly.  
  
" B-but....you can't interact with the backround..." Saiya-ken whispered, turning around slowly, and revealing bloody hands.  
  
Triiya screamed, and said, " That's it!! I'm outta here!!!"  
  
" Triiya! Wait!!" Kenin pleaded, then smiled, when golden rings did not appear around the panicked Wavemaster, " There you go, this is obviously some special-"  
  
" I...I CAN'T GATE OUT!!!!!" Triiya screamed.  
  
" Th-there's a--" Kenin started, but Saiya-ken screamed in horror, and was flung into the sky, a strange...red wand appearing behind her.  
  
It was then that the Heavy axeman and the Long arm realised the moon had been blotted out by a huge, looming shadow.....  
  
As Saiya-ken screamed, the screen fizzled, and then she was gone....no ghost...nothing...there was lifting sensation, and Kenin knew he was staring at death... he could feel it...  
  
the screams of Triiya were distant, and garbled, as pain shot through him, and the being pointed at him, tauntingly.  
  
"...oh...God..."  
  
---------------------------------  
  
There, what do you think? Like it? Continue on to Torment!! I'm waiting!! ^.^  
  
( BTW please review this..too...I wrote it at a whim...)  
  
Yusagi Sombermoon 


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